Day 29: Transition to a New Month, New Scales, New Goals

What is your reward for a month of dieting? MORE DIETING! BWAHAHAHA! Good thing this eating plan is frigging awesome and the food is so luxurious I feel like I should be tossing hundred dollar bills into the fireplace and eating off diamond plates with gold tableware.

First off, dinner last night:

Rib-eye steak and baby spinach, both cooked in bacon grease

and seasoned with salt, pepper, and then topped with a little butter.

When your diet food doesn't look like diet food. I wasn't super hungry, so I kept the meal simple. About a fourth of the steak was fatty bits, which I'm still picky about, so that was trimmed away. It was bloody and tasty, though.

This morning, it's just a plain butter and coffee kind of morning while I wait for laundry to dry. Because tomorrow starts a whole new month, March, I wanted a transition record since I'm switching to the new scale. I weighed myself on both, to get a starting number and an ending number, and to see the difference in weight the two registered.

Taken within minutes of each other, the picture on the right taken first.

That's a 5.5 pound difference. If I only looked at the new scale, you'd think I'd gained a couple pounds overnight. But going by the trend of the old scale, I lost two pounds and little extra. So, you see why I wanted a transition day.

I think the photo above is also a good illustration as to why we don't rely on bathroom scales for accurate numbers. They're great for a relative number, and to track a trend, provided you use them at a consistent time when you weigh yourself, and take notes as to your eating and activities. But as you can see, you have variance from machine to machine.

I also took my after photos last night, and I'd posted them in the Wild Tribe Facebook group. Here they are for the blog:

Front view, before and after

Side view, before and after

This is from 28 days of not being super vigilant on the Wild Diet, but adhering to most of the guidelines. I was strict during the first two weeks, and did my experimentation during the second two weeks. I had to test some of the tenants Abel set forth in his approach. NEVER TAKE DIET ADVICE AT FACE VALUE! Ever. Each body is different, and there are no real diet gurus. There are people with ideas that worked for them, and we all have unique bodies. Primal may work for one person, vegan another, and yet another can eat anything they come across, and all could achieve relative health on their eating plan, and be obese and sickly on another person's plan. This is why there are no universal miracle diets.

Experiment, test the ideas presented. Keep consistency in mind, and take copious notes to avoid fooling yourself. It's okay to cherry pick things that work from different diet plans if they also work together. This is how the Wild Diet came to be- ideas from different lifestyles that worked for Abel were combined into a plan that works for others, as well. If you have issues, experiment to see why you're having issues. Cut out dairy for a couple weeks. Add dairy back in for three days after. Take notes and compare. Maybe that rice you're carb loading with the night before is causing an issue. Perhaps you have trouble with sweet potatoes. Maybe you just don't like leafy greens, but you adore broccoli and brussels sprouts cooked with bacon. Maybe you're allergic to pork, so you skip bacon and use smoked spices to season your greens.

Eating Wild isn't a plan set in stone, nor is any "diet" a plan set in stone. It is a philosophy that revolves around eating whole foods. It has elements that make cravings few and far between, and that help with weight loss. But it is, at its core, a lifestyle because it has a defined philosophy with it, and a sustainable lifestyle should fit your biological makeup. If you're trying to make your body follow a book, and not the guidelines in a book work for your body, you're going to have negative issues.

That said, following the Wild Diet as close as I could afford to, I had amazing results the first two weeks, on into week three where I started deviating. Inflammation decreased, mood elevated- people were constantly telling me how bright I looked, how I looked like I was doing world's better than a mere month ago.

I have bipolar, and my mood changes often, with a predisposition for depression most times. The depression swings are the most noticeable for other people, because I lose myself to it and it takes incredible effort just to be awake and semi-dressed. Within days of eating Wild, I was being told I looked healthy, happy, good, all sorts of positive adjectives. I found myself forgetting to grab my cane as I walked around. You will notice, the Feb 1st pictures I'm holding a cane, and in the Feb 28th pictures, I'm standing on my own. I reached that point within two weeks. Being so free from severe pain, I experienced happiness I hadn't felt for a long time. I thought I was going manic!

I also experienced incredible energy. Again, I thought I was going manic, and I even considered talking to my psychiatrist about reducing my medication. Turned out, I just needed to go outside and walk, because it was just extra energy, probably from my body burning my fat stores. I needed a healthy way to release all that stored energy, instead of just sitting around being lazy. Week 4 I was eating more glutinous foods, and my sluggishness set in again after only a few days, along with knee pain returning. That has confirmed, no glutinous grain for me. I don't want to be immobile or days away from a wheelchair again. To me, that pain isn't worth a meal's indulgence.

I start the next chapter of my Wild adventures tomorrow. I know now how I should eat. I know I can stick with it, and I want to stick with it, because it tastes good, and it makes my body feel good. But eating is only part of the equation. It's an important part, but my body has little to no stamina, and eating does not build stamina. Eating doesn't really build muscle, either.

For March, my goal is to make walking a regular habit. The ice on the ground is no longer a huge issue (not until the March pre-spring storm, anyway) and the weather is slowly (and fitfully) warming up. I can no longer use below-zero windchill as an excuse to stay indoors. I know I can walk a mile, and I know I enjoy walking more when I have a destination. So. My plan is to make walking up to the local cafe a habit, three times a week being the first goal. I will increase it after that. I can reward myself with a tea or coffee, none of the fancy crap though. I can carry a backpack with my laptop and knitting, knit and sponge off WiFi, walk home, and have a productive day that way.

THis might be a harder goal, so I'm going to have to be more ready with non-food rewards. While I had rewards set for February, I only halfway followed through with one- talking to my sister about a handmade apron. It's been three weeks, and I'm sure I may never see it. What I want to reward myself with is this:

Special mugs just for my butter coffee.

After a month of walking to the cafe and back, a minimum of 3 days each week, I will consider the goal reached and I will have earned those mugs. (They're sold as a pair.) I just hope they aren't sold out by then. :x

I wish everybody good luck as the Challenge ends tomorrow, and a new month begins as well. This is my last day with Tribe access, and I will miss being able to scroll through the Facebook page. I hope everyone who enjoys the Wild lifestyle keeps fresh goals in mind, and keeps working hard for better health and better performance. It was great meeting everyone, and the support I got was so helpful. I wish I could hug everyone. Take care, and continue to be excellent to each other.

edit to add: Oh... was about to post "Goodbye" in the FB group. Guess yesterday was my last day. xD

Pumpkin Spice Fatty Coffee, Take 2

I've got some pumpkin in the fridge yet, and I wasn't too impressed by my first attempt at pumpkin fatty coffee. It's currently mid afternoon, and I'm kind of hungry but not like rawr feed me hungry. I decided to make a fatty coffee since I couldn't figure out what I wanted to eat.

This mug contains regular strength coffee, 2 tablespoons of butter, 2 caps of vanilla, some cinnamon, and 2 teaspoon sized scoops of pumpkin. No sweeteners, no dairy other than butter. Blended it all in my Ninja.

It's definitely not a clone by any means of the drinks from the cafe. It is coffee with a faint pumpkin note and a hint of spice. Because I actually like the taste of coffee, I'm happy with this. Happier than with the production I tried to make before. There's still the fiber and vitamin boost from the pumpkin, and the extra smooth texture it adds to the beverage. I'm sorry I don't tend to measure my spices in this stuff. It's usually a few shakes in the blender cup, and then a light sprinkle over the finished product for the aroma. I also use a 2 oz bottle of vanilla, so my cap fulls are sized for that bottle.

Day 28- End of Week 4 Weigh-In and Secret Experiments

First off, the weigh-in photo:

This morning.

First day I was able to record a number instead of an

error in Week 1,

The estimate is I started at 450, because this scale stops registering me somewhere below that number. I was also barefoot in the older photo because I wasn't able to get socks on, my feet were too swollen. Yep, either barefoot, or barefoot in sandals in February in Minnesota, because my feet were too swollen for appropriate footwear. I've been wearing shoes for two weeks now, with socks. And I need to buy new socks because the ones I have were kind of ratty when I was forced to stop wearing them.

My weight loss was very rapid that first week. I was losing near three pounds a day, peeing it all out twice in the night. It slowed to 2 pounds a day in Week 2, to one pound Week 3, and this week it's at half a pound.

Why such a dramatic slowdown? EXPERIMENTATION! I don't like taking diet advice at face value, not when foods are being eliminated. I cut out sugar, wheat, corn, soy (aside from the soy that's slipped into certain foods because I can't afford the non-soy versions), most dairy aside from butter... And of these foods, wheat is the most vilified in The Wild Diet. So, naturally, I wanted to see if wheat itself really does have a profound effect on my body and pain levels.

Now, I'd done an elimination diet a few years ago when I first started seeing signs of swelling in my legs, and I cut out wheat, gluten-y foods in general, and corn. I was vegan at the time, and it was  a struggle to find food in compliance, but eating lots of brown rice and potatoes, and protein where I could it, I found the swelling went down and I dropped a lot of water weight. Everyone told me I was going to kill myself, though, from doctors to social workers to family and online friends.

I started adding back corn. I felt okay. I stopped being vegan. That went alright. Gradually gluten and wheat itself made its way back into my diet and my swelling came back, but I paid it no mind as I worked my way through bloody steaks bringing my health back up to manageable after so much time with too little protein.

Well, The Wild Diet is a type of elimination diet, cutting out suspected inflammatory foods and filling up on satisfying foods to negate the cravings one would normally feel after giving up favorite foods. But you're not expected to add foods back to see if those foods actually caused the health issues that disappeared after several types of food were removed.

Wheat being the villain, I thought I would eat small doses the past couple weeks, to see what would happen. I weighed myself daily since the start to keep a steady relative number as I added small amounts of wheat products. I paid attention to frequency and relative amount, and looked at my numbers in relation.

February 19th was a fish fry on a Friday (Fry-day) to see how that would affect my digestion. It rolled around in my tummy, but I enjoyed myself that night. I gained 3 pounds when I was able to weigh myself that Sunday.

The next dose was a beer Monday night, and the next day I was up a pound.

I ate a ton of sugar the next night in about any form I could find, not realizing my actual period was starting, two weeks later than normal. I was up another 2 pounds by Wednesday.

Since then, I've had one more beer and two traditional cookies, and my loss has slowed to tiny fractions.

But! More important than the scale number is how my body feels. I've gotten sluggish. I'm not waking before dawn, I'm not keeping up on hygiene so well, and my shoes are getting tight again. I just feel emotionally icky, beyond the period slump I always get. My knee pain is also returning, which has slowed my walking.

I have concluded that for my body, wheat is indeed a bad guy. It seems to stall my weight loss, which is bad considering how overweight I am, and it seems to worsen my body's inflammation. The added pain worsens my depression symptoms. I will be eliminating this food from my diet, since two different elimination diets have shown eliminating then reintroducing it correlates with pain and inflammation. I think this will make for better results over Month 2.

My weight loss over Month 1, the first increase being

from water retention during what I thought was PMS, but

was just spotting

Today, I have made my fatty coffee, adding some almond extract and some cardamom to make a nice warm and slightly Christmasy-flavor. (Grew up in a Lutheran church with much Swedish good in the bake sales.) I plan to keep the day simple and work on eating Wild like I should be. I want to see how a full month eating as Wild as I can will affect that graph.

I will also be taking my after pictures tonight- I took my before pictures before I went to bed, so for consistency, I will do the same for the afters. In my swim trunks again. xD

I will write up my email for Abel's 30 day challenge entry, and get everything prepared for sending.

I hope everyone following the Wild 30 Day Challenge has been experiencing better health and happiness this past month. It's been an interesting experiment, and I've learned so much about myself and my body. I've learned to be a little selfish, and that it's not a bad thing. I've learned I can do what I put my mind to, even if it seems impossible. I've learned I can cook! It's truly been a month of great things, and I'm looking forward to continuing for a lifetime.

Day 27- Dinner

I ended up eating the leftover steak as a late lunch, so I cooked some shrimp in butter and olive oil, with chopped onion, garlic, salt, and pepper. The veggies are 2 carrots, 2 small parsnips, and some thinly sliced fennel, drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with salt and pepper.

It was all super delicious, and I'm finishing off the meal with a green apple for dessert.

Avocado "Ice Cream" Attempt #1

One frozen avocado, a handful of frozen strawberries, water to get things moving. A bit between a smoothie and soft serve in consistency. Good mouth feel, not so good taste wise. I will definitely tweak this before coming up with an actual recipe to share. Was kind of hard choking this down. :P Avocado does make a smoother ice cream texture than straight up bananas, though.

Day 27- Getting Closer to the End Goal

Morning of  Day 27, Week 4 is nearly done. My lady time is finally ending and I can get back to working harder instead of being in pamper mode. I don't expect to have lost much at all this week, if anything, just because of all the water retention. After the week ends, I will start weighing on my new scale. It doesn't want to register water weight or other specialty data yet, for some reason, but it will weigh my total body weight. It's just slightly different than my old scale measures, and I wanted some consistency through this month before I started Month 2.

Starting Month 2.... I don't think I've adopted an eating plan for so long in the past. It's not been super easy, I've gone through nearly all my food stamp allowance this month. Luckily I get cash assistance as well at the start of the month, so that will help be for a couple weeks' worth of groceries until my SNAP refills. I'll be able to pay my sister to start on my new apron, if she is still interested in making me one. I plan to reward myself with a new coffee grinder, as well. I've seen one made by Kitchen Aid that looks good with replaceable blade cup.

I'm trying to hold off on new pants until I absolutely need them, but I might have to buckle down and buy a pair next month. I'm constantly pulling my current pants up, especially climbing out of cars. I get out of a car and next thing I know I'm flashing panties at the driver. I'm hoping I'll be able to fit into my skinny jeans soon, but I'll need at least one more pair of pants besides that one. (I'm currently surviving with one pair.. torture come laundry day.)

I still have lazy days where I just don't want to cook my veggies and salad never really appeals to me. I need to figure out how to get around that hang-up. It's usually worth the effort to cook a veggie side or two, and having a lot of leftovers does help. But some days I just want my meals served to me on a platter by a hot bunny-chick in a maid outfit.

I've gotten used to brewing a lighter coffee. I even liked what dad brewed this morning during my visit- and he usually makes a weak pot. My coffee beans are starting to last longer, and I'm considering storing them in a more air tight container. I have a coffee storage jar that only needs to be washed and it's ready to go. Just a matter of taking it home with me from mom's house.

I've gotten to love my morning butter coffee so much, I don't even think twice before adding a couple tablespoons to my coffee when I'm visiting my parents. Dad hasn't seen yet, but mom is somewhat familiar with the Wild Diet through MDIBTYD on TV.

Today I want to spend time working on more Buddhas so I can list them, and maybe put up an option for a custom version. When I have a bit more cash, I'll have to stop at the craft store for embellishments. I also want to make an extra one to donate to the mindfulness center, should I ever stop in. I'm keeping Buddha #1 for at home, though. I'll just have to keep him away from the kitty.

I have leftover steak waiting for dinner. I plan on roasting some carrot and parsnip, or maybe sauteing them in butter with some thinly sliced fennel, for a side dish.

Oh, speaking of dinner, last night I had some boneless ribs at mom's with sauerkraut, homemade coleslaw with apples and almonds added, 2 small chocolate, bacon, and chocolate chip cookies, and 2 green apples. The cookies were a splurge, and when I woke in the middle of the night, I considered stealing a couple more. But I remembered they weren't a spectacular cookie, so I didn't indulge and just went back to sleep. Eating while at mom's just gets easier and easier, with less and less mindless grazing. I'm happy, mom's happy... though her meat isn't always safe if I decide to break my fast before dinner. Mmm, meat. :P

Here's to a productive day, with a nommy steak dinner waiting at the end of it.

Face Change Progress Collage

I made the original graphic a couple weeks ago, and I decided to update it now that the month is nearly over. I see some changes, especially from picture one to picture four.

Day 26- Yarn, Steak, and More Yarn

Yesterday was a yarn day. I had an idea for a project, and hunted Ravelry.com for something to use as a base for it. I found 2 perfect patterns, and combined them. Joy!

Lotus meant to hold a tealight.

Seated Siddhartha, but unfinished here.

Combined, they made this:

I need to find a bead for a bindi and weave in the ends, and sew the Buddha figure into the center of the lotus, but for the most part it's done. I want to make a few more to sell on Etsy, now that I have both halves of the project figured out. Started it all yesterday afternoon, took a break in the evening, and finished it a couple hours ago. So happy about this project.

Last night for dinner I cooked up a couple steaks. I had one with the last of the whipped cauliflower and some spinach:

Delicious!

I haven't even had today's butter coffee, as I fed the cat and went right to work making Buddha's topknot and halo. It's after 11, I may just have the remaining steak or cook up some eggs. Not sure. I'm too eager to crochet some more because those lotus flowers are kind of fun. Yarn trumps food. :P

Teaching Knitting When You're Afraid of People

So I have social anxiety, and I've had it for most of my life. Fear of people, a fear of public places. Combined with depression (what I used to think was just depression) I spent a good deal of my life in isolation. Last year I started attending group activities at my mental health clinic in earnest. It was time, I reasoned, I stop being a wimp and start working towards improvement. Get a life back, or as best a life as I could.

Well, we wound up with a new activities coordinator who picked up on my constant talk about knitting and crochet, and how much the hobbies have helped me as far as mental health improvement. And the devious, wicked woman thought teaching a class on one of those skills would be a great idea. Normally I'd have said no. I don't like taking a leader position, I don't like being the center of attention (despite wanting often to be the center of attention.) I get frustrated easily when people don't pick up on something as quickly as I feel I do. But... my improvements in my mental health were at a plateau. It was time to push.

So, I am now leading a knitting class every other Wednesday at the clinic for other clients using their services. It's nerve wracking. I'm exhausted by the end. But so far, two people have picked up the skill successfully, and one has relearned how much she used to enjoy the craft. And I am amazed that I was the catalyst in those three instances.

I also have a place now to donate yarn when I go through it to destash. I brought in a bag of yarn suitable for hats and scarves yesterday, so people who want to dabble can do so without spending hard-to-come-by cash. Many clients at the clinic are low income, and I figured, if I'm just going to get rid of it, but it's decent stuff, why not make it available to those I'm teaching? The less than ideal stuff I can give to the quilting group at the clinic to tie off their quilts. The one lady was so appreciative to get enough yarn to make a scarf yesterday, she couldn't wait to start working on it. She was repeatedly petting her work and the skein, enjoying the softness of it after working with cotton for two weeks.

I also had a huge confidence boost by how quickly the new attendee picked up casting on and knitting yesterday. I think having worked with string and knots helped her, and she seemed to have a strong ability to think abstractly, which helped her figure out how to match my hand motions. I checked up on her now and then, and told her a few times to let the dropped stitches or accidental extra loops go. Learning the hand motions was more important right now than making a perfect dish cloth. Working on it at home may be difficult for her though, as she doesn't have access to Youtube videos to help remind her.

I would like to introduce a charity activity this Spring to work on, and then we could all pick out yarn for it and work on it for a few sessions. I know there's a call to "knit your bit" and make scarves for veterans, a good item to donate in fall. There is always a call for baby items, though premie items require some extra thought behind materials. The hospital in the town the clinic is in has a blanket program that I believe provides yarn. We could even take a hint from the quilt group, and make hat and scarf sets to provide as prizes for the annual Christmas party. (The quilt group provides a bunch of quilts as door prizes to the clinic's Christmas party every year.)

I think, once everyone feels they have a good grasp on things, giving a project idea with a community oriented goal can be a big help in boosting confidence and self esteem, as well as provide the relaxation and calming benefits of just enjoying knitting. And it would certainly help me to have a certain skill set to teach to prepare my class for such a task. I like having an end goal, even though the event coordinator was just happy with the idea of learning a new skill. Sometimes, when you're living on charity, government aid, and such yourself, you feel like you're always taking. Being able to give back is a huge thing, and I want to give people an opportunity to do just that.

Pretty big dreams for someone afraid of being out and around other people. Pretty big accomplishments, too. Being brave, after all, doesn't mean not being afraid. It just means, being afraid, but doing it anyway. And I've gotten really good at "doing it anyway" when it's important. Helping other people learn a skill that allows them to in turn help more people, to me, is probably a bigger, more important task than even my 30 day challenge. I mean, I'm one person, and helping myself is good and important. But passing on my skills to benefit those around me and give them the opportunity to extend that even further into the community... that's one massive set of ripples to set in motion.

Day 25: T-5 Until End of Challenge

Slow start to the day, this morning. I think I was worn out from having to be social yesterday.

So, this is definitely a real period this time. I don't know why I had the weird emotional thing two weeks ago, with bloating and other PMS symptoms, but right now I'm just... ugh. At least the cramps have stopped. I was kind of hoping for a less dramatic cycle. The emotions before this period hit were so wishy-washy. My cat could sneeze and I'd find it so adorable I'd be moved to tears. And now I'm bleeding so much I have little energy after the last couple days. I need a steak... bloody... covered in butter....

I noticed my cravings for carbs has gone way up. I ate a bunch of raisins last night. How bad is it when your brain thinks raisins are a cheat food? I'm not too broke up over it. Things in my body go haywire when I get to this time of the month. I'm just glad I didn't get suicidal like I've been in the past. My ovaries are evil, I tell you.

I'm finishing off some tea from last night before I make my coffee. I still prefer it plain over flavored. I say, if the beans are really good, the coffee should be black. The butter just kind of balances any acidity, I find.

I've been looking at coffee subscription boxes and mail order coffee, to get fresher roasted beans. But looking at the prices, I may as well get my beans at the local Dunn Bros cafe, who roast their beans pretty much daily. They have a wide variety of origins, and usually have one on special or featured every month. I can be a bit of a coffee snob... but I find I love a fresh bag of coffee, and they have pretty good coffee there.

Speaking of coffee, just finished the tea and brewed my butter coffee!

While I don't flavor the coffee itself, that light sprinkle of cinnamon on top gives a nice aroma. The brand I've been drinking is Equal Exchange, I believe. The roast is somewhere between a medium and a dark. I usually buy espresso roasted beans, because most grocery brands just taste meh and the burnt flavor helps mask that. But I'm trying to get used to lighter roasted coffee, as when I buy my next bag, I plan to get a lighter roast so I can taste the bean better. Like I said, coffee snob. If only I could afford to be this snobby with beer... ha!

I found I was a little more playful with the kitty than normal. I shocked her when I wiggled my fingers under my blankets. She was all for playing, turns out. I figured, whatever got her to stop meowing for her breakfast and let me linger in bed a little longer was fine by me. Right now I'm still not fully awake and chipper like I usually am. I'm by no means a grouch right now, but I don't have a skip in my step. Actually, I haven't walked easily since this period started. I'm wondering if this is going to be a monthly setback- bleed for a week, not be able to walk any distance. Stupid bloating.

I ate a lot of ribs yesterday, pretty much every meal. I have 2 of 6 portions left. That recipe from the Wild Diet book was so amazing! The cauliflower was pretty good, but here's a tip: Let your cauliflower dry out a bit before blending them up and they won't get as soupy. I blended mine in 2 batches. The second batch was allowed to dry out longer and didn't get as soupy as the first batch. A little garlic or maybe some homemade ranch herb blend could help with the flavor too, if you normally augment mashed potatoes. I would add chopped onions next time, and maybe a light sprinkle of cheese.

Tonight I don't know what to do about dinner. I could stop at the grocery for ginger and do gingered pork chops, also from the book. I love ginger. But I think I'm more likely to eat the leftovers. I really don't want to go anywhere, today. I do have plenty of steaks in the freezer, as well, if I do decide to cook a meat tonight. I guess I'll have to see what my mood dictates.

Well, 5 more days until the 30 Day Challenge is over. I've done alright, I think. I haven't fallen off the bandwagon, which is amazing. I've tripped up a  couple times with the carbs. I've had my cheat meals. But I'm still lighter than I started 25 days ago. 20 pounds lighter is nothing to sneeze at. And not only am I physically lighter, I'm emotionally lighter, as well. I've gained back mobility that I thought I'd lost forever. I gained self confidence, a sense of willpower, a sense of self worth, a sense of hope. If I don't get lazy and fall back on convenience foods, I can keep down this path and never look back again at my attempt to get surgery last summer.

I feel I've quieted down a bit as far as wanting to tell everyone about this "Amazing New Diet" I discovered. I still want to share what I've learned, but I'm not so compelled to gush about it every time I open my mouth. I'm starting to look beyond the 30 days, and there is a lifetime stretching out before me. I don't want this to end on March 1st. I feel too good. I eat too well. Life is too good now to go back to Nutter Butter cookies and pints of brownie fudge chunk ice cream for dinner.

Can I eventually do a half marathon, myself? Could I eventually run again? Is there some kind of physical challenge fundraising event I can eventually join, if I work hard enough at improving my health? There are so many causes I would walk for. Running seems like a dream. Could I jump rope again some day? Play hop scotch like a kid again?

Could I go into any store of my choosing, and pick a garment off the rack and have it fit? Could I toss out every fat clothing catalog I get, at some point, and wear clothes that hang correctly on me instead? Fitted clothing? Clothing that isn't tent-like, or designed for big bosoms with small stomachs?

And then there's the confidence boosts with every small victory. Those are the best part of going on this challenge. After I reached out and touched God's Rocking Chair, I was smiling for days after. I can't believe I did that a week ago, and I still want to share my triumph with my friends and family. There's the boost from being able to stick to something for more than a fortnight. There's a gain in confidence in my cooking skills, because everything has been delicious- even my kitchen experiments.

Everyone on the challenge, we have 5 days left to make it count. Work hard, and even if your scale isn't budging (mine slowed down so much over the last 3 weeks, I'd be surprised if I lost a full pound by Sunday) look at other aspects of your life and performance for signs of improvement. How are your clothes fitting? Have you improved climbing up stairs? How is your concentration compared to before the challenge? There are so many more markers to improving health than a number on the scale. Scales provide a relative number, but not a good indication of what ratios compose that number. But being able to fit into clothes that were tight a month ago, or taking a long flight of stairs without being winded- those are huge markers, and just as visible and worthy of appreciation.

So keep that in mind over the next 5 days, and good luck as we push for what could be the greatest life change we've adopted- one that allows us more time with loved ones, more freedom to make the most of that time, and more confidence in ourselves.

(I think I may be getting my writing groove back, after the location change.)

Day 24

What an early morning! Woke up at 4 am, lingered in bed half an hour before I decided I might as well get up. Popped my ribs in the oven at 5:00 am for phase 1 cooking. Knit a few rounds for an hour and a half, cranked up the oven for phase 2. Caught an extra hour of sleep while they finished cooking. Made whipped cauliflower as they rested.

Holy crap, that rib recipe and cauliflower side.... HEAVEN! I had to have a rib for breakfast after licking my fingers while packing dinner for tonight. Plus, had to taste the cauliflower for salt. ;) I added some left over asparagus from a couple nights ago and packed one of my bento boxes to take to the clinic today. It's knitting class day, and I'll be there after the class until the dinner activity. I want to make everyone jealous. Bwahaha!

I kept the rub the same as the book except I added half a teaspoon each of onion powder and smoked garlic powder. Extra smoky flavor, and I like a little alum in my barbecue. Now, I am a northern gal, and I normally sauce the crap out of ribs because I don't like the taste of pig meat. These ribs did not need any sauce. They don't have the tangy bite of a good ketchup-and-coke sauce, but they've got great heat and the meat was really moist. I will have to buy ribs more often when I see them on sale, just to cook like this again!

As I said, knitting class today. I'm thinking bringing in some of my scrap yarn that I've been going through. One gal wants to make a hat, another I think is ready to make a scarf. So I dug through and found some of the softer, bigger wads of yarn and wound them into center-pull balls. The thir woman who was making a sincere attempt, I don't know where she's at right now, ability-wise, so I'll have to see if she show's up today.

So, guess whose hands derped on her again and threw a whole stick of softened butter onto the floor, not even missing the fabric rug in front of the sink? Smeared all down my front, as well. Good thing I was in my night-clothes. The stick was too soft to just cut the hairy bits off, so I had to trash it and pull out a fresh one for coffee and cooking this morning. This is why you need to do hand exercises when you knit or crochet!

Speaking of.. I've been making.. uh... "chesticles" the last couple nights. Seeing if I can make them look nice to send one to a friend as a gag gift. I put squeakers in them, so when you squeeze them they make a noise.

I have a more serious Liberty Cap/Voyageur's Hat project in the works. I kind of want to make several, embroidered with the word "EQUALITY", possibly with rainbow yarn, instead of the traditional "LIBERTY" on these caps. I would sell them on my etsy page only for the cost of shipping, and make them available to fellow LGBT. I could also do them in a rainbow of colors, some in the T pride colors. I have a friend who rallies for the trans side of things, which inspired me to sort of "knit my bit". Ones I make for selling I would do in a much lighter weight yarn, however, than the worsted I'm using now. They could be worn in warmer weather, then. It's a project dream, I could sell them for a dollar plus shipping, and donate the dollar to a LGBT-related cause. Once I get hats made I can talk that bit over with my friends who are more active on the battle front.

I hope everyone has a fantastic day. For those on the challenge, 6 days left! Keep thinking of that bacon plushie! And even if none of us win the official prizes, we win the best prize of all,  better health!

Day 23

So I thought my girly time of the month hit in Week 2. Nope. It hit today. Week 2 was just spotting, which explains why it was so light, even if it was on time. I guess my hormones are adjusting. I had to make an emergency run to the drug store and pray I had enough to cover the cost for unstained pants. Womanhood... so much fun.

Gross stuff out of the way, today was another early morning, and would have been more cheery if my stomach didn't hurt. A little bit ago I made my butter coffee:

It's regular strength (one scoop of beans in my Aeropress), with a tablespoon of butter, one square of Lindt 90% dark chocolate, broken in small pieces, and a touch of pure almond extract. Blended in my Ninja, it tastes like a nutty mocha. Really good, considering the only sugar is what's in the chocolate.

I also neglected to share my grocery haul from yesterday. Here it be:

The green tea is for kombucha, as what I had was getting old. Butter for cooking and coffee, fennel to try cooking with carrots and parsnips, eggs, uncooked shrimp, three pounds of ground beef, chocolate, brie, and strawberries. The empty package is from prosciutto wrapped mozzarella sticks, which I shared with my mother and sister for lunch. The fronds from the fennel are in the freezer to add to bone broth when I make another batch. Total food bill came to $44.64. Even trying to eat cheap, you're not eating that cheap.

Yesterday for dinner I wound up making a goulash, using pasta. I could feel my hormones were out of whack, and thought, the only change was my diet, and I'd been neglecting starch. So since I had nothing but macaroni, I added some in. I'll save it for dinners, since it's carb heavy. I prefer eating lighter during the day, anyway.

I'll need to cook tonight because I'm hosting the knitting class tomorrow and I'll be at the clinic until evening. So, I will need a meal I can pack into a bag to bring with for supper. I also bought some really nice, super thin gingersnap cookies to share at the class. There's about a gram and a half of sugar per cookie, so I thought the one diabetic gal could indulge in one or two without her blood sugar going nuts. They're not Wild compliant, so I'm on the fence about eating them, myself. Two of the people attending are ready to tackle a little more than the pure garter stitch square from last time, so I'll bring my scarf to show the one how slipping a stitch can improve the look of a garter stitch piece, and I'll see if the other gal can handle purls. I'm not sure who else will show.

So... I've still not cooked my ribs. I'm preparing them this afternoon, since I have no plans for anything else. I have a new roasting pan from my mother I want to test out, complete with a rack, and those ribs will work nicely on it, I think. I still have my cauliflower, and I cooked some bacon yesterday and saved the grease from it, so I'll have cauliflower cooked in bacon grease. There's also some baby spinach for my greens in the fridge.

I haven't got much energy today. But considering what my body is up to right now, I'll chalk it up to that. I just want to relax and take it easy, and save my energy for tomorrow since I'll have to interact with people for half a day. Also.. this coffee is to die for. I might have to make it a regular concoction.

Week 4, Day 22

It is morning. I lingered in bed as long as I could, but I need to shop today. I had a touch of insomnia, mostly from emotional turmoil still lingering over my decision to part from the Wild Diet FB community. It really is a great community, and I couldn't have made it to Week 4 of the 30 Day Challenge without them. But sometimes you just have to leave something, for whatever reasons. Yesterday was full of emotions, and emotional eating in the evening. I'm a little hungry now, and debating whether I'll brew coffee or tea, or just have cider vinegar water. I'm thinking the water. I've been extra hormonal despite my period ending 2 weeks ago, and I want to give the butter coffee fasting a break, maybe eat some more starches in my regular diet. I'm considering getting some sweet potatoes today.

For the sake of the new blog, I weighed myself for a concrete number to start off with. 429.8. I will re-weigh myself this next Sunday, and post a photo of the scale. It will also be Before and After Picture Day. So I will post those pictures then, as well.

I have got to cook my ribs soon, they've been in the fridge for half a week. Stuff has gone on, and I just haven't cooked much the last few days. I still plan on cauliflower with the ribs, though I'm unsure how I will make it. I am considering working some bacon in there as well.

On the grocery list today is ground beef, which is on sale. The fancy burger recipes provided through Abel's materials themselves are heavenly, and wrapping and freezing them individually proved a lifesaver the first couple weeks. Roasts are on sale, but I may only pick up a corned beef brisket. I will pick up a couple cartons of egg, which are also on sale- 99 cents! Raw shrimp and a bag of frozen berries. I usually pick up avocados and cheese as well, but it's going to depend on what's available. I would always post a grocery haul, so I will continue that here, along with the total spent. Oh.. I'm out of chocolate as well. :x

Today will be spent focusing on staying on plan, since I've been lax during Week 3. I will get back into the habit of cooking and keeping up on cleanup. I will also be knitting, as I found an amusing object to knit up. If it warms up enough, I might restart my practice of knitting outside my apartment.

My goals for the end of the week are mostly to keep consistent in my habits and eating. Long term habits are achieved through consistent behavior, and I want the Wild Diet to be habitual for the rest of my lifetime. I have a pair of skinny jeans which I can't pull up over my gut. I think they're mislabeled, because I have another pair, supposedly the same size, that slip on so easily I've never had to unzip them. I wear a 34W, but the skinny jeans feel like a 32W or even a 30W. I don't need to be able to zip them, but if I could just get them up over my belly, I would consider that a victory. I would also like to be able to fit into my smaller underwear. I bought a package in the wrong size by accident, and they're sitting all rolled up and pretty in my dresser. But, a lot can happen in a week, and very little can happen in a week. So long as I stick to my goal of consistency, I will have a successful week.

I have no major incites today, as yesterday was just full of angst and struggles. I mean, my chocolate and peanut butter indulgences didn't harm things too much, I'm actually lighter than my FB weigh-in day number from Sunday. So I guess that's a pretty cool thing. ;)

Here's to a new day, a new beginning, and a positive journey.

Picking up from FB

Today is the beginning of my 4th week following Abel James' Wild Diet, as seen on the ABC television show "My Diet Is Better Than Yours". I cannot afford to continue membership for forum access, so I opened a new blog page to continue posting journal entries. I will miss having my post archive available for comparisons, but I can at least have these.

I joined the 30 day challenge almost a month ago, and started at around 450 pounds. My scale refused to read me. In half a week, I lost 7 pounds. As of yesterday, I'd lost close to 20. I will be documenting meals, scale readings, progress photos, frustrations, triumphs... the same things I posted in Facebook, just here where I won't feel so much pressure to succeed under the watchful eyes of a large crowd. I will post the link to this blog in that forum while I can, so people who enjoyed my writings can read my updates, but I had to get out of the FB setting. This will be challenging, on my own. But I have the tools, and I have three weeks of victories to spur me on. Neigh, bitches! This unicorn is loose and ready to stab some pudge.